Today the clouds are looming over me and I am weepy. Bursts of tears break out now and again, like ominous thunderstorms in Spring. My steps are heavy as if my shoes are filled with lead. And at times, my heart feels as though it's migrated to my throat.
The melancholy I feel comes and goes in varying degrees, but today the anticipation of a painful anniversary -first of 3 over the next 5 days- has all but consumed me.
No, I have never experienced motherhood in the human sense. But, the love I lavished on my beautiful fur-kids can't be much different. I don't pretend to understand what a parent might experience at the loss of a human child; though I can imagine it. Anguish, agony, torment...
Even over the course of time, healing is a slow and arduous process. Some days are filled with happy memories and laughter as reflections of silly antics and fun times surface. However, others find me low in spirit with the deep sorrow of separation.
It is true that our earthly lives are short; our fur-kids' even shorter. And, on these occasions of remembrance, thoughts of thanks and joy should filter through as rays of sunlight through the storm clouds. After all, how dull and sad would life have been, had not those four paws been imprinted on my heart, however short the time?
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
~Psalm 147:3~
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